ugh!

Last night was awful. Craven kept waking up in pain. So, it it not an option to stop his meds, but giving them is not much of an option either. I feel so bad for him b/c I don't think he has truly been pain free this whole time. He does not understand that the meds make him feel better. He is suppose to get 1 tsp every 4 hours and the doctor upped the dose to 2 tsp every 4 hours. Well, we decided to try 1.5 tsp first and go from there if he needed more. It helped until he got harder to give it to (meaning immediately upon upping the dose). By the time we hold him down and try to get him to take it he gets less than a fourth of a tsp at a time. I am going mad. Its next to impossible to give the meds by my self. Last night he was so bad that when I would try to give him meds he would only get a little. So he kept waking up. Finally this am I could not take it anymore and I got Randall to help me again and we got a little more down him this time. I try to manage his pain with Motrin in between but he will not take it. I physically can not hold all his limbs, head, mouth and give him the meds. He wears it I wear it and it makes me very stressed out.
Grammy called today and said she would come over to visit with him for a little while. Yeah! If I would have been more motivated I probably would have gone over there.
Well, I have to go and clean the Motrin off of me and him once again....